Dear UPS man,

Today is the second day (in a row) that you have stopped in front of my driveway. At first I racked my brain trying to remember ordering something. Was it a book? No, I already got those. Oh! I ordered that toy... wait, no I didn't. I haven't ordered a single Christmas gift yet, so I am intrigued and spy out the window watching you. You stop and then back up. Hmm... I assume you are trying to make room for people to go around you on our one lane county road. That's very courteous of you. I watch as you get up and then sit back down. (Yesterday you actually got out of the truck.) You must be getting your delivery list down to mark us off.

You seem to be moving around in the truck, although, to be honest, I can't see through the truck wall... Are you looking for a package for me? Has someone ordered something for us and shipped it directly to our house? That would be so surprising! An unexpected gift. I imagine what it could be... a play kitchen for Rose? No, probably too big. Maybe those fingerless gloves I've been eying? No, I don't think anyone knows I want those. Ooh, maybe it's a Southern Pacific model train for D. Those are hard to find. No, I doubt it could be that. Perhaps it's a new crock pot, I've been wanting to replace mine for awhile now. How thoughtful that mystery person is that shipped it directly to me. I bet there's a note in there requesting my new crock pot's first meal to be wings. Eh... it's probably not for me. Maybe it's something for Ry. Jessie from Toy Story? A new dinosaur toy?

See! You are standing up to get that package that is CLEARLY mine.

I am lost in thought wondering what kind of surprise we are getting and then I am shocked. You drive away, not even leaving a sticky note saying the package needed a signature. How dare you play with my emotions like that! I almost had Christmas presents! A crock pot! Fingerless gloves! New books! Treasures unknown! A briefcase full of money!

Wait!! I'll meet you at the gate... You never honked for me!

You are gone. I'll just pretend that you couldn't see the numbers on the post... or that you were confused with the name of the road... Perhaps you thought no one was home, I know, it looks like that a lot. It's our one vehicle situation, I'm sure it confuses a lot of people.

Perhaps next week, or even the week after that, you'll bring us something? I know that would be cutting it really close to Christmas, but I wouldn't mind a box being dropped over the gate. I guess I'll have to do my part and order something, though. I'll try not to let you down. You obviously are looking for that package with our address on it.

Sincerely,
The creepy lady that took a picture of you with her awesome super zooming camera. (Just be happy I didn't whip out the binoculars...)