this all happened in less than 60 seconds

so.... a little confession time today. My kids aren't perfect. I mean, they're perfect, of course! They just don't always behave or listen and sometimes they make me feel insane and I think that they are definitely conspiring to give me a heart attack.

Take for example last night: We have a class we're attending at church, it's 90 minutes long and the kids get to play the entire time we're there. The kids were not happy about leaving last night and were also suffering from a lack of daytime sleep... we call that a nap around here. As we are leaving the two year old bolts out of the door and runs half way down the sidewalk refusing to hold my hand yelling, "I do it my own self!!" D (being five and sort of trustworthy enough not to be forced to hold my hand) has also walked that far ahead of me (although he has no intention of walking out in the street alone) which is why Rose has followed that far, but she insists on being an independent wild child and doesn't stop on my command. I am trying my best to do the "not chasing you down the sidewalk" fast walk to catch her before she commits toddler suicide as I juggle my purse, Bible & lesson book, wild child's cup and blanket. The same moment I am trying get her to stop running and hold my hand because please God don't let that truck hit her if she makes it to the street before me! Ry is giving Daddy a bit of trouble, too. His problem is that he doesn't want to hold Daddy's hand he wants to hold Mommy's hand- cue four year old meltdown that I don't get the fine opportunity to witness because I'm running after Rose who has now made it to the curb. We all love a good game of chase, yes? It's even better when danger is involved!

Naturally, upon being in arms reach of the runner, I basically yank her back from the curb (essentially saving her life although the street is totally empty now) while she lets out a startled cry. Being very aware that the pastor and other members of our class could definitely be witnessing this whole ordeal (oh the embarrassment!!!!!) I quickly turn my arm yank into an embrace while we are both trying really hard not to fall backwards on our butts. By this time I am hearing Ry whining/crying very loudly about the injustice of not being able to hold my hand while my sweet husband leads him to the car while I watch as he throws an epic tantrum. I meet eyes with T as we cross the street and we give each other looks of "They are out of control!!!" I am carrying Rose as she struggles violently to be put down to walk again (not happening) while she screams at me and Ry is putting up a good fight of his own. If anyone was watching I bet they had a hard time looking away.

The entire time that his brother and sister are losing their minds, D has calmly watched it all happen and simply follows us (probably embarrassed, too- I don't blame him) to the car and sits very quietly. He really knows when to pull out the "I am on my best behavior, I hope you're noticing" card. Yes, we did, thank you.

I'm still recovering this morning and trying not to panic about having baby number four and what s/he will bring to the mix. And because I obviously don't really value my sanity I made cupcakes and left them out in plain view this morning. They are for our t-ball team to enjoy after Closing Ceremonies tonight. So... only six more hours of telling the kids they aren't for them.

If you made it through all that you deserve some sort of award that I can't really provide, so go do something nice for yourself. I'm going to face plant in some chocolate ice cream as soon as I can get the kids to take a "nap" or as they know "time to ask mom 639 questions" time.

my morning- how not to shop with kids

I decided I would finish my Christmas shopping today. I knew I'd be going to a few stores that didn't have shopping baskets to throw at least one of the kids in so I called up my mama and asked if she needed to go to town. She said she'd go with me. That was nice of her. Our first stop I ran into the bank to get some cash. (you know, so I would have a set limit. I also forgot my bank card. whatever.) Anyhow, that went smoothly and I managed to grab D's (free) wildlife calendar while I was there. I also took three lollipops for the kids. (hindsight: should've gotten candy canes, they last longer.) I walked over to the first store and the kids were happily occupied with their lollipops for the 15 or 20 minutes it took for me to decide that there was nothing there I liked. Right at that 15 minute mark (as soon as the lollipop was gone) Ry decided he didn't need to hold my hand anymore, collapse into a heap when I took his hand in mine again and apparently his legs stopped working and he couldn't manage to walk. Now, at this point I was done with the store and we were going to leave. I also understood that this was immensely boring for him (it was a clothing store) and that he needed a little break. After 15 minutes. We made it out of there without major incident. I did pick him up and carry him out (mainly because I wanted out of there and he was being a handful about not walking). D was wearing a little halo and Rose was pretty darn good too. Although she was all about Neenaw (that's what they call my mom) and didn't want anything to do with me.

Our next stop was Ross. It is new to our little town so it's pretty nice. (I've been to some that are less than appealing.) I found a gift for our Goddaughters and a gift for my "name in the hat" person. I had three things and was done with that store so we checked out. This time Rose didn't want to sit in the cart that we had, so she was holding Neenaw's hand (I was, again, not wanted). Ry did the whole "I can't move anymore" pout with spaghetti legs accompaniment. Okay, so checkout line. The lady was really nice and I was done paying so my mom was getting her stuff rung up. I happened to turn to see Ry try to knock the "form a line here" sign down as well as the stretchy rope thing. He exclaimed that he had super power strength and started back to wreck some more shop. A lady eyeballed me. I grabbed him and this ginormous bag I had while Rose freed herself of anyone and started for the automatic doors. Now, at this moment I was thinking that there's no way that little magic sensor pad would open for a 25 pound-ish person... I was wrong. She stomped on it and the doors started opening so I grabbed Ry's hand, the unruly bag, and darted to Rose. She threw a very impressive fit when I caught her hand so I just kept on walking through the doors thinking she would calm down and no one would have to witness this "bad mother/bad child" scene that was rapidly unfolding. D ran outside with me (I guess he panicked that I was leaving) so all three kids are with me and Rose is screaming her little head off because I picked her up. Ry is making me practically drag him down the sidewalk and I'm still trying to wrestle this bag of Christmas cheer I just bought. Thankfully I got to the end of the sidewalk and very far from the doors (although Miss Lungs probably could still be heard inside). Oh, not only was she screaming bloody murder because holy cow, Neenaw is still inside paying and not in Rose's sight, but she is trying to run away from me. (I would've taken them to the car but I didn't have the keys) I gave the bag to D to hold, Ry acted like we didn't exist (which was fine with me at that moment) and Rose is flopping all over the place trying desperately to get away from me (doing the back arching to fling herself away from me), hitting me, and still screaming.... That was the longest 2 minutes of my life. (okay, maybe not, but definitely longest in this month and last month) More than embarrassing. This doesn't quite capture the intensity of the drama that happened. Just take my word, it was b-a-d.

My mom came out and we got in her car and Rose was still throwing her epic temper tantrum and Ry was still epic pouting. I had wanted to go to Walmart, where I knew I could get the rest of my things, but instead I told my mom to drive us back to her house. There was no way I was going to another store with those two acting like that. My stomach is still in a knot. I'm sure it looked like I was kidnapping my own children. I was way to preoccupied with them to notice anyone staring and shaking their head, though. I was very much on the verge of tears myself during the whole thing, but did manage to hold it together. To top it off I had to straighten out some payment that got screwed up when I got home making me feel even more in control of things. I might have shed some tears over this morning, but I'm hoping this afternoon is better after we've all had a chance to settle down or nap.

I love these goofy kids, even when they aren't wearing halos

 They really are good kids. I know it. They know it. Sometimes we just have a tough time. I think I'm calming down now. I'm starting to reason out their terrible behavior. Anyhow, I'm doing the rest of the shopping a-l-o-n-e. Sorry kids, I need some time to recuperate before I brave the non grocery shopping event with you again.

Later friends, thanks for letting me vent.