Story Time with Tim

When I was 17 I was in love. I was in love with a girl I had known since I was 12. She was tall, slender and had the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen.

Before I go any further please let me clarify, I am a man, not JD. That's how interweb rumors spread.
My name is Tim (I'm JD's husband). I am taking this opportunity to share with my wife's readership a story about her, that left to her own devices she would never share. There are many stories to choose from, but I am going back to the early days of our relationship. At my family gatherings when I am asked to tell this story I call it "The Pants Beat Down"(RATED PG for brief violence and an intense stare down scene).

Like most 17 year old boys I was lazy. I was exceptional though, because I was too lazy to shop for my own clothes. So with girlfriend JD and my Dad in tow I set out to expand my selection of britches by one pair of Levi's Silvertabs at the mall. My Dad was there mostly because JD's parents felt that it would deter me from getting romantic in the food court at the mall.

The thing about JD back then was, she was shy. Not shy like a librarian or like a teenager in the middle of a Gothic kick. She was more of a stern "no smiling in public" shy. On top of this she is tall for a girl at nearly 6ft. Her eyes are a beautiful greenish blue with gold flecks in them. However, when she drops her brow they literally turn black and all you can hear is puppies and kittens crying for help. She can be a little intimidating.  

JD became irritated within the first 5 minutes of shopping. An irritated JD is a dangerous JD. I went to the dressing room to try on a pair of jeans while she continued on her mission to find a pair that would transform me from a nervous sweaty boy into Clint Eastwood. While she was searching I quietly walked out of the dressing room towards my Dad who was waiting 25 feet or so away. When I reached him I asked where JD was. He pointed her out. She was standing like a statue right next to the dressing room door (that I had just left) with a pair of pants in hand. The problem with this was another guy had entered that dressing room. I was just about to wave to her when it happened. This poor, unsuspecting stranger, who's name is forever lost in the annals of JC Penny's, opened the dressing room door. His only crime was having brown hair and being on the short end of the height chart. Which gave him a passing resemblance to me. JD swung around with the pants on the hanger and drove her denim weapon deep into the stranger's heart. No joke, she hit this guy so hard with a pair of jeans he fell back a step or two. Now this is the part of the story where most girls blush and apologize profusely. Not my gal. She instead, with pants still pressed flatly on the strangers chest, straightened out her spine so that she stood a good 4 inches over her victim and lowered her puppy kitten death stare on him. I can imagine the strangers only thoughts were on getting out of there alive when HE apologized to HER and scurried away. You know in the movies when the Rambo like character watches their enemy, that they let live, go to tell the other shoppers what awaits them if they so much as dare think about trying on that Van Husen button down? She had that look.
When she noticed my Dad and I staring, jaws agape, she stormed over and let us know how it was our fault for not being where she would have liked us to be. We said we were sorry, too.

I can tell you that JD is the sweetest woman you could ever meet and that one conversation with her will change your entire outlook on life for the better. I can also tell you to avoid shopping with her at all costs.


Tim is JD's husband. He buys her ice cream, tells her she's pretty when she's having bad hair days, never complains about the laundry situation, always make coffee on the weekends, downloads songs that he thinks are terrible just because JD likes them and is a wonderful daddy to their three (+ one on the way) children. Occasionally he sports a ridiculously awesome beard, as seen in this picture. He still makes JD laugh every single day and likes to tell stories about her to anyone that will listen. 

(Bio written by JD.)